Did you ever do anything stupid?  I mean profoundly STUPID – like marrying a man in spite of your friends and loved ones telling you not to – even while knowing facts about him that should have sent you running the other direction?  This is what I did, heedless of all warning signals.  While still in the newlywed stage, the relationship ended abruptly and painfully, turning my world upside down.  In the devastating aftermath of suffering and humiliation, I vowed I would never find myself in that miserable situation again.  Initially, I wanted to expose my husband as a sex addict and pedophile while painting me as the wronged heroine.  After all, my ex-husband now resides in prison.  Doesn’t that say something about what a jerk he was and what a victim I had been?

Then the awful truth hit me between the eyes – I made the choices that got me into this mess.  With that realization, I discovered an incredible gift – this situation offered an opportunity to grow that I would never get any other way.  This book tells my story – every embarrassing detail as well as each triumph I discovered along the way.  Excavating my early years and exploring the beliefs I formed about myself in childhood gave me powerful insights.  While processing all this, I shifted from seeing myself as a victim to realizing my ability to create a life full of meaning and purpose.

Read Too Much Gold to Flush and learn from my mistakes.  Individuals who buy copies of this book are supporting women and children who desperately need your help as one-half of the purchase price goes to a woman’s shelter.


  1. Sue Cushman

    It has been tough to do this mostly alone. I felt like there was no one to support me until the last few years. I also am shifting. Thank you! If the inside of your book is as good as the front cover, it will be very enriching indeed.

  2. Pat Grissom

    Thanks for your supportive comment. I hope you will read the book and spread the word to others who will also enjoy it, Pat

  3. Laura

    Hi Pat, way to go on the book. Congratulations!! This sounds like exactly what I went through as well with my first marriage. Going to counseling was the best thing that happened to me to turn my life around. I found my soulmate and have never been happier.

    • Pat Grissom

      Thanks for sharing your story. I’ve found that it is helpful to hear that others have gone through similar experiences.

  4. Mary Cooper

    Pat, So excited to hear you got your book written! Good luck with your new life that YOU are creating!

  5. Raul's Daughter

    Hi Pat…I think that you overcoming what happened is very admirable. I think all women need time in there life to reflect and understand why they make certain decisions. I do have a slight problem with your inside cover and some of the book itself…I have a hard time seeing you as a victim in this story because you, just like the few other women he has been with…you knew of his predatory ways before the relationship became a marriage but you did it anyway. I have mixed feelings about you…after all, I am “Raul’s” daughter. My family was the real victim in this story. We were the one’s that didn’t know about his demons. We learned first hand about him and it tore our family apart and left my sister and I with wounds forever. We have done our best to warn the women in his life about what he has done and it seems that over and over women seem to be able to accept that about him and it’s almost a slap in our faces. We lost everything when he victimized our family…you had the knowledge to make a different choice. a choice we were never given. I do congratulate you that you learned from it and that you have done a lot of good from it. I just hope you really realize that the real victim here wasn’t the adults who made the bad decisions to get into a mess like this but the children that have all had the lives and families torn apart by it. I know we never met and I was invited to the wedding but chose not to go. My sister and went through it enough growing up and now my little half brother will endure the same fate as my sister and I did because of the actions of women like you who accepted a man with these demons into there lives. We as women need to make better choices for ourselves…after all how can you blame him for everything he was when you yourself accepted him that way. Please women teach your children that boundaries are a good thing, saying no you will not allow a messed up man in your life. We are all responsible for ourselves and we need to protect our children. Being strong women is the best way to protect your children.

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