Passion

 Find and follow your passion.  As you work to find it, you should know that sometimes, your passion just finds you.  ~Condoleezza Rice

For the past eight weeks, I have moved through the process of affirming a new vision around the core Growing Up Is Hard Workbeliefs that often undermine us at a foundational level.  During that time, 1) I identified what my negative core belief was, 2) how and why I would like to change it, 3 & 4) what my inner and external resources are, 5) my plan for doing this, 6) how that negative belief is still affecting how I see myself, and 7) a specific technique for releasing the negative core belief and then replacing it with an affirmation.

Over the next seven weeks, I will repeat this process with a new topic – Passion, what am I excited about in my life.  Originally, I thought of this section as career or work related, but then I realized while this might ideally be what we are most excited about in our life, it very often is not.  And maybe it is.  But I don’t want to limit this discussion to that arena of life.  Some people are passionate about their hobby, their volunteer work, or a particular interest.  And sadly some of us are caught in a dreary existence that does not offer excitement in any area of life.

The following is an overview of the next seven weeks, with the affirmation that ideally keeps us on The Way in the middle, the past or shame to the left, and the future or fear to the right.  Note how the negative core belief permeates the shame of the past and the fear of the future.

Past – Shame

Present – The Way

Future – Fear

I cannot live my passion because I am too busy meeting the expectations of others.  I spend my life fulfilling what I think others expect from me.

I am present.

I fear others will not approve of my passion, so I do what I think others expect.  My fear that others will realize how inferior I am keeps me from pursuing my passion.

When I attempted to follow my passion, I failed, reminding me I am not worthy of following my dreams.

I am the flow of change, and I am grateful for the   gifts that shifting brings.

I fear the idea of pursuing my passion because if I fail it will reinforce my feelings of unworthiness.

I am unworthy of pursuing my passion.  I have no skills or talents with which to pursue a dream.

I am precious, unique, and authentic.

I am terrified of the idea of pursing my passion and appearing different than everyone else.

No one would find anything I did or said important.  I am drawn to others who agree with me.

I am one with all souls, earthly and eternal.

I am terrified of the idea of pursuing my passion because if I fail others will see how unworthy I really am.

Someone as unworthy as me doesn’t deserve to follow their passion. When I have tried to follow a dream, I failed, or others kept me from succeeding.

I am the creator of my life.  I mold and make my world.

No matter what I do, I’ll never be able to follow my passion because only worthy people have what it takes to follow their dreams.

I’ve seen what attempting to follow my passion will   get me – disappointment.  The lens of my negative core belief can only see me as stuck in a mediocre life.

I am my vision, how I see myself and others.

I cannot see me attempting to follow my passion.  That challenges the comfort I get from seeing myself as an uninspired victim.

I refuse to release my belief that I am unworthy of pursuing my passion.  I cannot let go of my conviction that others are to blame for my inability to pursue my passion.

I am entitled to miracles.  Through forgiveness, I know I am love.

I fear releasing my belief about not being able to follow my passion.  If I let go of the idea that it was impossible to pursue my passion, then I would not have an excuse for not pursuing it.

Step One:  I am present.

Face your fears; live your passion; be dedicated to your truth.  ~Billie Jean King 

The prospect of being who we really are rather than the version of us that we have perfected over a lifetime may feel absolutely terrifying.  Very often the idea of who we are feels lost, left in a closet somewhere.  In week one, I shared the story of losing My Bear and how traumatic that was for me.  As illogical and irrational as it may seem, I have spent most of my life since then feeling like I left the essence of who I am in that closet.

A few weeks ago, I mustered the courage to go back to that closet in my mind, looking for that part of me that I had left behind.  When I mentally opened the door, I found the closet was empty.  Along with that, I realized that the little girl who I thought I had left behind was actually with me all this time.  I was so focused on thinking I had left her behind and so conscious of presenting an acceptable version of me to the world that I could not see her.  She is my voice of Truth.  She is the person who shows up in my journals.  She is the voice that woke me up in the middle of the night when I was dating my husband-to-be and begged me to look at what I was doing.   She is the driving force within me.  My greatest desire is to tune into what she has to say.

The way I have hampered the expression of my passion is by worrying about what others thought instead of tuning into my own inner wisdom.  I put friends and family in charge of what only I could do, which is acknowledge and respond to what makes my heart sing.  Out of a sense of insecurity or lacking confidence, I believed that others could tell me how to focus my time, energy, and even my career path.  In other words, I relied on others to tell me who I was and to give me something only I could give myself – my purpose and my passion.  I used their input to keep me tangled up and ensnared in the Battlefield of the Past.

Granted the setting may not be ideal, but we can still at any moment in time be who we are.  In fact, we owe it to ourselves to be ourselves.  No one else can be that person, and that is the only way in which we can tap into our individual passion.  If we are focused on being who we think the world expects us to be, we are mired in those old negative core beliefs.  If we are in the present moment and focused on The Way, we always have access to that incredible and special person that we are.

 There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.  ~ Anais Nin

What is your passion?  If a response is not coming, describe the thing that you loved to do as a kid.  What did or do  you spend your time doing and never seem to grow tired of doing?  What do or would you enjoy doing now, if you can or could? 

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