Relationships:Step Three

I am precious, unique and authentic.

Always be willing to disappoint another to be true to yourself; that is a true leader and architect 100_2924 rightfor change. ~Jess Weiner

When I think of how I once thought of relationships, the quote by Woody Allen comes to mind, “I would never want to belong to group that would have me as a member.”  His statement reflects the poor self-esteem that I have labored with all of my life.  Having found my way to The Way, I know that is not true, but on a stressful day or when I wander off the path, I can still go there.  The one Truth that I want to hang onto is:

I am aware of my behavior, which is the first step.  I will stay conscious of my Inner Guide and check in with Her frequently to make sure I am not slipping back into old behaviors. 

One of the primary things that I want to stay aware of is how I am relating to others – not whether or not I am meeting their needs in the relationship, but whether or not I am honoring and meeting my own needs.  This is an area where checking in with myself first is invaluable.  If I do not find the calm that I need by looking within, I need to remember my next step is to talk to someone I trust, a therapist or a trusted friend.  Sometimes the most difficult concept to remember when I am floundering is to come back to that Truth that I need to stay in the present moment, and be aware of my tendency to slip back into the old negative core beliefs of the past and the fear of the future.  If I can remind myself that anytime I am feeling powerless, that is exactly what is happening – I am stepping off The Way and moving back into the entanglement of old victim beliefs that put others in charge of my life while taking me out of control.  While it is a theme that I returned to over and over again, it is the Truth that can set me free.

How much longer will you go on letting your energy sleep? How much longer are you going to stay oblivious of the immensity of yourself? ~ Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

How do my innate abilities factor into my options for changing how I relate to myself and others?  Based on my strengths, what can I do that will result in a positive shift in how I relate to myself and others?

You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day.  You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.  ~ Barbara De Angelis