Seeing myself as a victim keeps me in prison. Seeing myself as a creator gives me total control of my life. ~Pat Grissom

 ch 16 p 307When my husband of three months announced he was in love with someone else, I felt like a victim, which I was.  I had no idea our short marriage would end so soon and so abruptly.  At first I wallowed in the sympathy that telling this story got me.  Then I realized I would always be stuck in that victim role if I continued to focus on his part in creating this .  I also expected to repeat the episode with someone else unless I figured out how to attract a more healthy relationship.  That’s when I realize the gift in this whole situation.

By admitting I had ignored obvious red flags, by understanding the negative core beliefs that had gotten me into this situation, that is when I started to turn this nightmare into an empowering episode in my life.  When I stopped blaming others for what had happened and started owning my part in the situation, then I began to make healthy responsible choices.  As long as it was all his fault, I could never change the situation because I had no control over the variables.

Once I got over the shock ained some level of clarity after my husband made his big announcement, I decided I needed to write a book – to help me understand what had gotten me into that situation.   It took a couple of years of processing and a full year of writing before I came to the conclusion that the main love ingredient that was missing in my marriage was love and compassion for myself.  If I had been tuned into my own needs, I would have clearly recognized the red flags that were popping in my face the whole time we were dating.  So the real gift in this marriage was the lesson I learned about loving myself and honoring who I am.

I had just decided I would write Too Much Gold to Flush, The Gift of Infidelity when I knew with perfect clarity that I wanted it to benefit women’s shelters.  The women they serve go through a fate much worse than I had endured.  Most of them are not able to support themselves.  Nor do they have the emotional support I found at that time.

Anyone that runs a shelter can tell you how expensive it is to keep their doors open.  That’s another reason I wanted my book to benefit women’s shelters.  One-half of the purchase price of Too Much Gold to Flush, The Gift of Infidelity goes to the women’s shelter that the purchaser designates.  Click here to purchase a copy and designate which shelter you want to benefit.

The shelters I am featuring this week are in Idaho.  This link: Idaho will take you to the page for Idaho on the Women’s Shelters, a nationwide directory of shelters for women.  On their home page, you can either click on a map, enter a zip code, or scroll down to a list of states to find a location closest to you.

To check out information about the shelters in Idaho, click on the cities listed below:

To order Too Much Gold to Flush on Amazon, click this link.